The Calm Dog Method: Why Your Energy Matters More Than Your Commands

Most people think dog training is about what you say.

But more important than What you say is How you say it — I guess that goes for human relationships as well.

Dogs learn from energy, body language, pace, and presence — more than specific words.

Try this:

In a high energy, excited tone ask your dog if they want a blueberry (probably something you’ve never asked them before I’m assuming. However, blueberries are great for dog’s health. But I digress.) Say to your dog, “(Dog’s Name) Do you want a blueberry?! A blueberry?! Blueberry!?” I can almost guarantee your dog will look excited, get up, start wagging their tail, and look very much like they in fact do want a blueberry. It’s not because they know what a blueberry is. Rather they are responding to How you said it. Alright, that was fun. Thanks for volunteering.

Your dog reads the world through:

• Tone

• Tension

• Posture

• Breath

• Pressure/Release

They feel you long before they hear you.

So when we talk about raising a calm, confident, easy-to-live-with dog, the foundation is not sharper commands or stronger corrections.

The foundation is your energy.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe dogs need guidance and information to learn right from wrong, (as do we) but your energy goes a long way in determining if you’ll need to use corrections much at all.

Your Dog Mirrors You

A dog who is anxious…

A dog who is hyper…

A dog who is constantly on alert…

Is usually mirroring the pace and energy of their environment.

If the home feels rushed, loud, or inconsistent → the dog becomes the same.

If the home feels grounded, steady, and predictable → the dog settles.

This is not “being in control.”

It’s leadership and being intentional with creating the energy around you. It’s funny how dog training can teach us more about ourselves than we ever expected it to.

Commands Don’t Work Without Calm, Confident Energy

You can tell a dog:

• Sit

• Down

• Place

• Heel

But if the dog’s mind is spinning, the commands won’t land.

Calm always comes before obedience.

So instead of asking:

“Why won’t my dog listen to me?”

We ask:

“What state of mind is my dog in when I’m asking?”

When the mind is soft →

the body follows effortlessly.

How to Create Calm (Without Saying a Word)

1. Slow Your Movements

Move like you’re not in a hurry.

Your dog will match your tempo.

2. Speak Less

Silence is leadership.

It creates clarity.

Instead of words, use your body.

3. Breathe Slowly

Your exhale tells your dog, “Everything is okay.”

So yes, when you’re frustrated with your dog literally let out a big, deep exhale. Your dog knows what it means. You may then see your dog yawn or shake it off. That’s their way of releasing stress. Look at you communicating with your dog without words.

4. Touch With Intention

Not frantic affection — calm, settled presence.

A big mistake I see owners make is reinforcing anxiety in their dogs. When their dog is anxious or worked up, owners tend to pet their dog and tell them things like, “It’s ok” “You’re ok”. Remember, dog’s don’t speak english. They don’t know what you’re saying. But they perceive getting pet as a reward. So in their minds— you’re rewarding the anxious behavior. Which makes the dog think it’s good to act anxious. Creating a more anxious dog.

Remember this when it comes to affection: What You Pet Is What You Get.

If your dog is calm and listening, calmly pet them (reward)

If your dog is an anxious mess, do not pet them (consequence)

Dog quickly learns— when I’m calm, they pet me. When I’m crazy, they don’t. They’ll quickly start choosing to remain calm more often.

5. Lead the Transitions

Doorways, leash clipping, feeding — these moments matter more than commands.

This is everyday training — the kind that lasts.

The Home Sets the Tone

Most behavior problems aren’t “walk problems” or “park problems.”

They are home rhythm problems.

If the dog is:

• Allowed to rush the door

• Allowed to demand attention

• Allowed to control space

They will carry that energy into:

• The walk

• Car rides

• Guest greetings

• Public outings

Calm starts inside your home.

Not outside of it.

This Is the Heart of the Folly Dogs Approach

We don’t rush.

We don’t hype dogs up (unless we’re playing with them of course)

We don’t rely on commands for everything. Especially energy control.

We teach your dog how to relax — and how to stay soft in real life.

And we show you how to maintain that calm in a way that feels natural and sustainable.

This is how a dog becomes easy to live with.

This is how the walk becomes peaceful.

This is how your home feels calm again.

If You Want a Dog Who Feels Calm, Connected, and Confident

Our Day Training program is built for exactly this.

Private.

In-home.

Structured.

Concierge-level support that you truly feel.

Training happens right where behavior actually matters — your home.

Book a Complimentary Phone Consultation by clicking the Book Now link at the top of this page. We look forward to working with you!